I am currently coaching a few women who are comparing themselves to other women who are having amazing success with my program. Making themselves feel worthless and making them feel like giving up. Comparing their 5kg loss to the other persons 9kg loss. And I get it, this is not about judging those who do it. I honestly get how it can be easy to compare yourself to someone else when you are giving it your absolute best shot.
I have been coaching women for over 7 years now and this isn't something that is new, I see this all the time. When it happens, some people do give up and go back to their old habits and then there are those who take what I tell them on board and absolutely crush their goals! Today I am going to tell you what I share with them so hopefully you to can stay focused on your path.
Comparing yourself to others is so easy to do especially in this day and age. Social media makes it extremely hard not to do because all we see is someone else's highlight reel. We live in a time where social media can make us feel terrible. Most the things we see on social media are perfect pictures / videos of women who look their best and we start criticising our own body, the way we look and how much money we have etc
Now, its easy to say 'Stop comparing yourself to others' but extremely hard to do and it all comes down to changing your mindset. Instead of comparing yourself to others in a negative way, compare yourself in a positive way.
What do I mean by that?
So if you are dealing with comparison in a negative way this is the first thing that will happen. Lets say you bump into someone who has lost a lot of weight or you might see a before and after pic of them. You might not say anything to their face but you will get upset because you havent achieved what they have. You will get annoyed because you feel you did everything right and didnt lose the same amount of weight as "Susie" or your didnt drop a certain dress size as quickly as "Julie".
Next thing that will set in is jealousy. Ewww, don't you just hate that word? Yet, here you are feeling jealous of the other person for reaching their goal quickly when its taking you a little longer.
After that, typically what comes next is you give up and go back to your old habits because whats the point? Your results aren't as amazing as "Julie". You go into self sabotage mode and quit on yourself. Meanwhile "Julie" is still kicking goals because she’s focusing on herself and not on anyone else.
But how do we deal with comparison in a positive way and use it to our advantage?
Fact is, beautiful pictures of women will always pop up on instagram so we need to learn how to deal with this in a positive way.
First thing that I would encourage you to do is Admire. Praise them and be genuinely happy for them. The energy you provide to them will have a positive or negative impact on your life. Its easy to feel jealousy and beat yourself up OR you could get excited, congratulate them and engage with them. Which do you think feels better?
Next thing that will set in is inspiration. When you see people killing it at life and you are proud of them you will gain so much motivation to keep chasing your dreams. No jealousy will set in that person will only provide you with more fuel to add to your fire to chase your dreams. It gives you that feeling of 'If she can do it I can do it!'
Now if that doesn't work its time for a social media detox. Focus on yourself, your happiness and your success.
So to summarise instead of feeling - anger & jealousy, which will only lead you down a negative path. Start feeling admiration & inspiration so that you can continue kicking your own goals!
Love Kat xx
Ps. I did a video on this the other day! Check in out!